Weather report

How Republicans watch the weather.

TV Person: ” . . . and the above-average temperatures will continue for at least another week. Just look at the poor folks out in the Southwest, with the heat preventing planes from flying . . ”

Republicans: Silence

TV Person: ” . . . except this one little zone in Maine, where temperatures are actually expected to be a degree or two below average . . .”

Republicans: “Ha, that proves it! Global warming is a myth! President Ponzi Greatbrain is right, it’s a liberal conspiracy! Drill baby, drill! Mine baby, Mine!”

TV Person: “. . . though they will be joining the rest of us baking in the heat by the end of the week. Next, we’ll take a look at the danger of stronger storms due to above-average ocean tempa . . .”


TV Person: ” . . . for switching over to Fox News. Are you hot? Is your AC working? Then don’t worry, all this global warming talk is really just a trick to get you to turn down your ac! It just doesn’t exist. And it’s all Obama’s fault anyway.”